


a threat to the community!

by derireo



Series: same age troupe [1]
Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Affectionate Insults, Crack Treated Seriously, Dialogue Heavy, Gen, Just friends being friends, Name-Calling, One-Sided Attraction, Pet Names, Platonic Relationships, Public Display of Affection, Swearing, a little ooc, bi queen izumi. mwah, whatever u do don't give tasuku the chance to breathe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27161818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/derireo/pseuds/derireo
Summary: What's wrong with liking boobs and showing interest in your friend's brother and the other friend's sister? Izumiclearlydoesn't know.It feels like it's three against one, and Tasuku doesn't know how much more of this slander and nonsense he can take.Maybe he should just kill one of them.
Series: same age troupe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1982617
Comments: 7
Kudos: 51





	a threat to the community!

**Author's Note:**

> this is an au where tasuku, tsumugi, itaru, and izumi became friends in high school. itaru & izumi went to the same secondary school! spring pair (itaizu) and winter pair (tstm) used to transit on the same train, hence how they all became friends.

"Do you ever just wish you had a girlfriend with a huge pair of bazoingers." Itaru said one fine evening.

It wasn't even a question, but it had Izumi automatically nodding along to whatever nonsense the man was spouting.

"All the time." She muttered under her breath beside Tsumugi who was forced to pause in marking Taichi and Tenma's practice quiz.

...What.

"Do you ever wish you would just shut the fuck up." Tasuku hissed in annoyance, looking over his script to send a glare to Itaru who was tapping away at his phone.

Itaru rolled his eyes and repeatedly snapped his fingers in Izumi's direction, the woman looking up from the page she was helping Tsumugi mark. "You get me, right?"

The woman nodded and tapped her red pen against the coffee table, leaning to the side to rest her body weight against Tsumugi. " _Hell yeah_ , brother."

Itaru switched his gaze to their blue haired friend and pointed at Tsumugi next, eyebrows raised.

"And you, my good friend."

The part-time tutor swallowed and rubbed the back of his neck, taking a sheepish glance Izumi's way with a little smile. "Uh. I guess?"

Itaru squinted at Tasuku after receiving the answer he was hoping for and smiled, his shoulders doing a little dance when the violet-eyed man groaned. "Tasuku just doesn't know how to appreciate women."

" _Dude."_ Tasuku gritted, dropping his script. The man didn't want to feed into whatever bullshit Itaru wanted to start tonight, but he wasn't going to let the guy slander him like that. _How dare he._

"It's true." Izumi said and reached out for the snack bowl that was on Tsumugi's side of the table. She snatched a chip and shoved it into her mouth.

"We were jogging through the park once and I asked him if he thought the girl we were about to run past was cute." Her voice was muffled by the food and it elicited a disgusted reaction from Tasuku while Tsumugi could only sigh.

The snack bowl was meant to be a reward for _later_.

Itaru was the only one listening. "Okay, _and?_ What did he say?"

Izumi spared Tasuku a glance over Tsumugi's shoulder and blew a raspberry, shaking her head. "He said no."

Itaru snarled. "How _could_ you."

"Wha— _come on_." Tasuku threw his head back with a deep sigh much to the amusement of his childhood friends. "It was a genuine answer."

"Dude. **All** girls are cute." Izumi stated as a matter of fact, gently patting Tsumugi's arm. "Right, Tsoogs?"

The man nodded, not willing to get harped on by both Itaru and Izumi who seemed to be looking for a fight tonight. "...Right."

"See?" Izumi and Itaru gave Tasuku a pointed stare. "You're the odd one out."

"Not _all_ girls are cute." Tasuku frowned, pointing an accusing finger at Izumi. "Take a look at yourself if you need an example."

Both Izumi and Itaru gasped, scandalized.

_Wow_. Just wow! Tasuku really had a pair of balls to be saying that to Izumi. Such blasphemy was not to be taken lightly!

Itaru and Izumi were going to burn him at the stake.

Sitting up from his position on the couch, Itaru threw one of his cushions at Tasuku who caught the pillow with ease. Damn.

"You are so _rude_ , you cheeky piece of shit." Izumi playfully cried as Tsumugi held her back from standing up to throw a punch at Tasuku who was sticking his tongue out.

_Bleh_ **bleh.**

"Izumi's **kind of** cute _at best_." Tasuku continued, eliciting an agonized sob from Izumi who was now burying her face into Tsumugi's neck. _Oh_ , the pain was unbearable. How could her buddy do this to her?

"How did our conversation about boobs end with someone crying..." Tsumugi sighed under his breath and pulled the girl closer to him, resuming his marking so that he wouldn't have to finish it later tonight.

Itaru crossed his arms huffily. "On a good day I'd agree with you Tasuku, but we are talking about _Izumi_ here, you beefy fuck." The blond choked dramatically and glared at Tasuku who was rubbing his face.

"You better apologize to our Queen." He sniffled.

Tasuku cringed. " _Queen?_ "

"Duh. Who else is most fitting to take responsibility?" Itaru rolled his eyes and made a grabby hand motion at Tsumugi. The oldest member of their group grabbed a candy from the bowl and tossed it.

"Uh, _m_ _e?_ You fuck." The disbelief was apparent in Tasuku's eyes but Itaru ignored it.

"Oh, sure." Izumi scoffed. "Who's the one who has to deal with all the hearts you've broken?"

"Wow." Itaru chuckled through his candy. "So Tasuku is just a straight up ladykiller? As in, he _literally_ kills people."

"For Chrissake— just _shut up._ " Tasuku groaned, throwing the blond's cushion back at his face.

"I'm pretty sure _I_ had to spend the night in jail once due to _your_ drunken actions." Izumi wagged her finger and harrumphed.

"No." Tsumugi frowned and held the accusing finger that was pointed in Tasuku's direction, pushing it back down onto Izumi's lap. "Tasuku still got jailed for destruction of public property. _You_ got jailed for assault."

Itaru piped up after tossing away the pillow that was so rudely thrown in his direction. "That happened in high school, though."

"I'm pretty sure I was acting in self-defense." Izumi frowned, crossing her arms as she remembered the unfair treatment she was given compared to the person she had punched. "Spitting on someone _is_ considered assault. I was only protecting my pretty face."

"Ooh, Izumi using her basic Law 12 knowledge. Impressive." Itaru whistled, snapping his fingers as to applaud his friend for using her rarely flaunted intellect.

Izumi winked playfully and twirled a strand of hair around her finger, pantomiming that there was chewing gum in her mouth. "84% and never studied, baby."

Tsumugi's gaze scanned the woman's figure with a curled lip; a frown. "But if you _studied_ , you could've gotten an A." His tone was scolding and it made Izumi pout. The woman cuddled into Tsumugi's side to appease him.

Itaru threw his candy wrapper at the tutor. "Hey, as long as she can keep us from fucking up in front of the cops, grades don't matter."

"A- _fuckin_ '-men, broski." Both Itaru and Izumi sent each other a pair of finger guns and winked.

"You're fucked if you think Izumi's gonna keep you from getting incarcerated." Tasuku rolled his eyes. Seriously, was no one seeing the problem here?

Izumi had absolutely _no_ compassion for their friend group. If she could, she'd probably _watch_ Itaru and Tasuku get put in handcuffs. And if she could, she'd probably _put_ Tsumugi in handcuffs.

This girl was off her _shits_.

"The Izumi slander is off the charts today." Itaru wolf-whistled. "You better shut your mouth, Tasuku, or else karma is gonna bite you in the ass."

" _Yeah_ or else I'm gonna fuck your brother." Izumi threatened, completely derailing the conversation.

Tasuku froze. "What the hell."

"Fuyuki always looks like he's **Down To F** Izumi so she's probably not even kidding." Itaru pursed his lips, sending Izumi a thumbs up. Tsumugi couldn't protest, because it was probably true.

Izumi simpered. "I'm gonna be your sister-in-law."

"Oh my God." Tasuku cried.

"And _hey_ , don't think your sister is automatically safe from me either, Chigasaki." Izumi's eyes caught Itaru's and the man pressed his lips into a thin line.

"Isn't his sister married?" Tsumugi frowned. He didn't have a problem with same-sex relationships but he was going to have to draw the line at homewrecking.

Luckily enough, Izumi had the same set of morals so the question made her freeze.

She jutted her chin at Itaru. " _Is_ she married?" Izumi asked.

Itaru shrugged. "Dunno."

Izumi clicked her tongue. "Damn. I'll text and ask her later."

"Can't you just get with someone your own age?" Tasuku complained. He was _not_ going to let Izumi near his brother. Absolutely not! Wasn't it a little weird going after your friend's siblings? Gee!

Izumi's lips curled into a frown after the question was asked. "And end up with someone like _you guys?_ " Her tone was full of disdain, but she quickly kissed Tsumugi's cheek to let him know that she wasn't talking about _him_ specifically.

Izumi gagged. "I'd rather kermit."

"That's reasonable." Itaru nodded. "I am _quite_ the disaster of a sentient life form."

"Can you speak normally? And _hey._ " Tasuku jabbed a finger in Izumi's direction. "It's not like I'd want to date someone like you either!"

Tsumugi fell back against the couch, rubbing his face as Izumi huffed and fell back with him, their knees hitting the edge of the coffee table.

"Can you guys _please_ just make up and kiss already." The blue-haired man sobbed in exasperation.

Izumi shook her head and glared at nothing. "Sorry, Tsoogs. The only Takato _I'm_ kissing is **Fuyuki** and it's gonna happen after we recite our vows at the wedding."

Tasuku threw his hands up in the air. " _What wedding?_ And why does that piss me off?"

"'Cause you're jealous." Izumi poked her tongue out.

Tasuku growled. "Am _not_."

With a devilish grin, Izumi curled her arm around Tsumugi's shoulder and leaned over the man's lap to slap Tasuku's thigh. "Dude, if you want a nice smooch from me, all you gotta do is ask."

"Oho." Itaru's voice was monotone, but Tsumugi saw the way his eyebrow twitched. "If I ask nicely can I get a smooch too?"

Izumi turned her head and pretended to barf. "No. _Maybe_ in your office suit, but like _that?_ " The woman scoffed, eyes scrutinizing the grease stains on Itaru's shirt. "No fuckin' way."

"You're mean." Itaru frowned. "So you'd still kiss Tsumugi even though he dresses like that?"

The blond pointed at Tsumugi's usual attire and made a gagging noise. Not that there was really a problem with his outfit, but it was just so.... boring.

(Itaru opted to ignore the fact that Izumi was matching with him.)

_Noah fence_ , Itaru mused to himself.

Tsumugi poked his tongue out at the gamer.

"Yeah? He's got a cute face and he always came to my sporting events back in HS." Izumi huffed, cradling the side of Tsumugi's face to squish their cheeks together, affectionately melting into his side. "Unlike you guys, Tsumugi was _very_ supportive of me."

"Yeah." Tasuku rolled his eyes. "Supportive of your nonexistent athletic career."

"Okay, listen here ' _hot stuff_ '—" Izumi grouched and slapped Tasuku's ankle. "I was scouted for the national team just like you."

Not even ten seconds in and Itaru was _already_ tired from hearing them talk about athletics.

"Can we please stop talking about sports. Both of you didn't accept the offer anyway." Itaru cried dramatically and let his phone fall from his hand, slouching in his seat.

"Worst mistake of my life." Izumi sighed. "I've lost the chance to become a ladykiller."

"You say that as if girls would be attracted to you." Tasuku scoffed much to the annoyance of Izumi.

"I've had more girlfriends than you've had sex." The woman griped.

"Tasuku's a virgin, though." Itaru piped up, ignorant. No one seemed to be surprised at the fact that Izumi has had girlfriends before which was a little underwhelming.

Save for Tsumugi who was pouting.

"Exactly." Izumi picked a few candies from the bowl and threw them at the gamer while everyone ignored Tasuku's protest to the previous statements.

"How come we've never heard of you having any girlfriends?" Tsumugi frowned at Izumi and pat her knee, teasingly wiggling his shoulders as if he was a child throwing a tantrum.

The woman laughed and ruffled Tsumugi's hair. "You bastards would've complained had you known I always cancelled our plans for a girl."

"Well, did they have big boobs? If so, then it's fi—" Itaru was justifying Izumi's reason for always standing them up, only to have Tasuku remove his own indoor slipper from his foot to vault it at Itaru's chest.

"Ouch. </3" He pouted.

"Stop with the damn boobs. Izumi probably likes thick thighs." Tasuku frowned much to the amusement of Tsumugi and Izumi.

"Sounds more like a personal preference of yours." Itaru shot back while the pair sitting on the floor faced each other and sighed.

" _Men_." Izumi rolled her eyes so hard her head started to hurt. "Right, Tsumu?"

She scrunched her nose at the tutor who she was still holding onto and he responded with a nose scrunch of his own. "Right." He agreed confidently this time.

"Aw, I always knew you were an ally." Izumi cooed. "Kithes for you." She said and pressed her lips to his cheek before standing up from the floor, raising her arms above her head to stretch.

Itaru made grabby hands. "I want kithes."

The cutesy act made Izumi gag, and she shook her head. " _No way._ You've got your own army of wives to ask."

"Aw." Itaru clicked his tongue. "But they aren't as cute as you are." He supplicated.

"Ooh. Touché." The director whistled a pleased tune and waved at Itaru to come over. "You got me. Get over here."

The way Itaru had scrambled off the couch to trot over towards Izumi made the director laugh, and she willingly opened up her arms for Itaru to sink into her embrace.

"Ugh. Warm. Like _soup_." Itaru sighed. The comparison made Izumi make a noise of disgust.

"Okay, off you get." She groaned and forcefully pushed Itaru away. "I'm not kissing you anymore."

Brushing away the imaginary crumbs Itaru had dropped on her, Izumi turned her body in the direction of Tasuku, who was casually lounging on the sofa. She ignored Itaru's childish cry.

"As for _you_ ," she pointed a finger at the meathead. "score me a date with your brother and then maybe I'll give you the privilege to hug me."

Tasuku bristled.

"I am _not_ letting you anywhere near Fuyuki." He squinted. "And I don't even like hugging you."

The whole trio in front of Tasuku scoffed, leaving him puzzled. "What's up with the reaction."

Tsumugi began to collect his unfinished quizzes, putting away his pens and answer sheet with a shake of his head. "Nothing. You're just a really pathetic liar."

"What."

Itaru grinned and trotted towards Tasuku, flopping onto the man's legs with a relaxed sigh.

"You're the lucky bastard who always gets spoiled by Izumi, ya big dumb of straight up _ass_. I'd punch you right now for being so ungrateful." The blond threatened.

"Aw, I never knew I picked favourites." Izumi frowned, squatting beside Tsumugi who was still cleaning up. "Tsumugi's my new number one."

The man mentioned smiled gratefully and blew a kiss at Izumi who grabbed the invisible thing and shoved it into her pocket.

Tasuku readjusted his legs underneath Itaru to properly distribute his weight. Ugh. He hated when they sat on his legs like this.

"Stop acting all lovey dovey. You two aren't even dating." The grouchy Winter Troupe member grumbled to which Itaru punched at his thigh.

"He's jealous! He wants in on the action." Itaru jested while Tasuku shot up to grab the blond by the front of his greasy shirt. "Oh God, I'm gonna die— _IZUMI!_ " Itaru shrieked, in the middle of being violently shaken by Tasuku.

The director sighed at the commotion, sending a pout Tsumugi's way as the tutor shrugged his shoulders and gave her knee a comforting pat.

"I swear." She muttered under her breath. She stood back up to her full height and turned towards the pair on the sofa, eyes flaring with aggravated heat.

Izumi snatched the front of Tasuku's shirt just like what he did with Itaru and ripped him away from the blond with a wide eyed stare, startling the man out of his **gentle** bullying.

"You." She removed a hand from his shirt to tap his nose, smile fake as Tasuku blinked and stared at the canine tooth that was snarling at him. "Are being _really_ bratty."

Finally being released from the clutches of the Devil himself, Itaru scrambled off the sofa to huddle against Tsumugi. He started to playfully cry just like Izumi did a little while ago and buried his face in Tsumugi's neck.

"I'm gonna beat your ass if you don't cool it by dinner tonight." She hissed, tightening her grip on Tasuku's shirt to pull him forward. _Juuust_ until their noses were touching. "Got it, baby boy?"

She smiled just a little after uttering the nickname, but Tasuku huffed.

He lightly pressed his palms against her stomach to push her away, snarling. "I'm older than you."

"By a _month_. Get over yourself, pup." Izumi scoffed and raised her hand to roughly slap-half-pet Tasuku's cheek, using just enough force to push his face away from her.

"I'm going to my room to look at girls online." She sighed and raised her leg to dig her heel into Tasuku's stomach for good measure.

Just to let him know that she's still the boss in their little group. <3

"Text me when Omi finishes cooking tonight." Izumi pulled away from Tasuku before he could wrap his fingers around her ankle and trip her up, giving him the middle finger with a teasing smile as she walked backwards into the hallway.

"That's our Queen." Itaru sighed dreamily.

Man. If Izumi was the only woman left on earth he'd probably kill Tasuku and Tsumugi to keep her all to himself.

.... _Too much?_ Too much.

Tasuku was still grumbling to himself, rubbing the spot on his stomach where Izumi put her foot earlier. He winced.

_...Hmph_.

"I'm gonna pound her into the gr—" Tasuku made a sudden move to jump off the couch, but was stopped.

Tsumugi chuckled and held Tasuku by the back of his shirt to prevent the taller man from chasing Izumi down the hallway. " _No_ you aren't."

"He really is a murderer." Itaru laughed in shock, bracing himself against the couch he was sitting on earlier.

" _Yeah_." Tasuku scoffed with a smile, turning towards Itaru. "And I'm gonna be sending you to your grave first."

The smile was....eerie. Itaru could feel the hair on his neck stand tall.

He slowly began to shuffle towards the hallway. "...I'mgonnagolookatboobswithIzumi." He said in one breath and then dashed down the direction of the director's room.

Tsumugi took a single glance at Tasuku and shook his head. "You are such a handful sometimes."

Tasuku pointed at himself and gaped.

" ** _ME?_** "

**Author's Note:**

> this shit was written very late at night so idk if it made sense and i wanted to post it already <3 hope u enjoyed


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